After a stream of regular emails to the love of my life, Rachel, she has persued legal action against me. I begged her to write me, speak to me. I pleaded to reach out to her, I didn't berate, insult or intimidate.
I was a gentleman about it, but I got desperate and sent far too many. Now I am legally blocked from any contact. Could not have helped my case that I hit morbidly depressed a few times, posting a news link about an unidentified woman they found, deceased, in her age range. I had a panic attack, tried even harder to reach her.
I hope she is doing well, but I never know. That doubt gives me anxiety.
She is my dream girl. I've known her for years, and she is denying ever knowing me. It seems like she has been planning this for awhile now, though.
I still love her, I still miss her and I have no ill will against her.
The charge is Stalking, but I didn't say anything threatening... I just begged, pleaded and tried to never give up on trying to get her talking.
I had thought if I was persistent, maybe someday she'd become more receptive to casual banter and some kind of communication.
. (usually no more than a few times a day. But, regrettably there was a day or two of twelve or so... For five months... I'm so sorry, Rachel.)
I just wished I could get through to someone I care about. I'd give anything to feel that bond again.
There isn't a shred of evidence that she still loves me, yet I can't give up that glimmer of hope.
Jail awaits me.
I feel the best days of my life are behind me.
Everything is falling apart.
My soul crumbles as fast as my teeth do.